| Author | Jokes !!! |
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Where do you find a dog with no legs????
Exactly where you left him! |
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” |
Real Ones :
My teacher says such kind of things:
1. I have two daughters and both are girls.
2. Give me a red pen of any colour
3.Let the cool atmosphere come in.
4. Give me indian flag of any other colour |
more 2 it of our sir
same as girls but it is son and boys
red pen is same 2
this is new stand in a straight circle
stand on 4 corners of the circle
call your mother an father and parents |
1. I have two daughters and both are girls.
2. Give me a red pen of any colour
3.Let the cool atmosphere come in.
4. Give me indian flag of any other colour
Has been repeated many times in this thread itself :) |
more 2 it of our sir
same as girls but it is son and boys
red pen is same 2
this is new stand in a straight circle
stand on 4 corners of the circle
call your mother an father and parents
Old too :(
So ironic that many teachers (of those posted in this thread) say the same things from all over the world! |
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.” |
| he he, good one :p |
Ok friends
Time to open your books
and
start studying..
and switch off mobile phones.
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These stunts are performed by highly professional persons.
Don't try to imitate them |
for VRBack:
When u r trying to show that some time has passed, please just put '(after some time)' to avoid long strings violation. This and drawing pictures from keyboard letters/marks in this forum is not alowed... |
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.” |
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss' house appeared two of each car.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully", and so the man replied... "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..." |
and so the man replied... "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
Oh my my....
What bad luck for boss |
A knight-lady goes to her knight-priest one day and tells him,
"Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed."
He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison,
"Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said,
"Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!" |
