i guess their ability is to make empires tax 100%.( they take 99%)
|Their ability is to drop the currency value of this game to half in four years! |
|My wife asked me why i carry a gun in the house.|
I looked at her and said DECEPTICONS. She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster, it was a good time.
|This thread is active. |
|Every time on wedding older relatives tell me while nodding and finger pointing: "You are next!".|
Well they stopped since I started doing exactly same thing on funerals.
|Twenty years old man likes all women.|
Thirty - likes only one woman.
Forty - likes all women but one.
This year 1st snow came and in the morning it is officially 15 cm thick.
Like men would say - it is 25 cm.
Women on the other hand would say that it is a very first snow.
|3 workers are eating meals on top of skyscraper every day. One day 1st finally speak: "If my wife pack me tomorrow same tuna sandwich, I ll jump no matter what. Cant stand it no more." Second one simply add: "If my packs ham sandwich man I ll follow!" Third feeling with two coworkers add: "Well, I will join You guys if tomorrow I got another peanut butter jelly sandwich!". So tomorrow same time same place, they open lunch boxes and 1st without one word jumped over fence. So does 2nd and lastly 3rd. At funeral, wife of 1st worker sadly comment: "My love if I only knew that You didn't like tuna sandwich I would prepared something else..." and sobs uncontrollably. "If You only said something"... 2nd wife said: "Stupid ham!!! If only I knew! If..." and tears begin to fall like rain. 3rd wife looks confused and mutters: "I don't get it. My husband was making sandwiches alone." |
|your mom |
|After a morning walk, a group of doctors was standing at a road-side restaurant enjoying a cup of tea.|
Then they saw a man limping towards them.
One doctor said he has Arthritis in his Left Knee.
The second said he has Plantar Faciitis
The third said, just an Ankle Sprain.
The fourth said, see that man cannot lift his knee, he looks to have Lower Motor Neurons.
But to me he seems a Hemiplegia Scissors Gait, said the fifth.
Before the sixth could proclaim his diagnosis... the man reached the group and asked,
Is there a cobbler nearby who can repair my slipper?
|Lol :D |
|Bob and Steve, happened to be lost in Arabian desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque.|
Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is
Mohammad, and you say that your name is Ahmed, this way we'll get some food! Deal?"
Steve said: "No, I'm sticking with my name."
They walked into the Mosque and the Sheikh saw them.
The Sheikh asked: "What are your names?"
Bob said: "My name is Mohammad."
Steve said: "My name is Steve."
Sheikh said: "Guys, please bring some food and water for Steve.
And you Mohammad, Ramadan Mubarak!
|Caution before taking kids to work...|
An 8-year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take Your Kid to Work Day'. As they were walking around the office, the young girl starting crying and getting very cranky, her father asked what was wrong with her.
As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly, Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?
|There was a pregnant woman with 3 kids.|
One boy and 2 girls.
One day one men shot that women with 3 bullets and every bullet shot a diffrent baby and the bullets stayed in them.
After 10 years, first girl commes to mom and says: "mom! I tried to pee and a bullet came out!"
Second girl came and said: "mom! I tried to pee and a bullet came out!"
Then a boy comes and the mother looks at him and says: "you too?"
Boy:"no mom! I played with my wienner and I shot my phone :("
|Once, a man on a long journey had a break down and found himself in a small town in the middle of nowhere. It was late, so he grabbed his suitcase and headed to the nearest pub, hoping to find something to eat and drink and a room for the night. |
When he entered, the pub was packed with the local townsfolk and the atmosphere was warm and festive.
Every now and then a person would shout out a number, for example: 652! 117! and everyone in the place would have a good chuckle. The man was understandably confused by all of this and so he asked one of the locals what was going on. The woman replied that seeing as it was such a small town, everyone knew all of the same jokes. To make things easier, they had written down all of the jokes and assigned each one a number.When someone would call out a number, everyone else would remember the joke and have a laugh. She suggested that he give it a try.
The man called out in a loud voice 238!. Everyone in the whole place absolutely fell about laughing! There were tears of laughter falling down most people's cheeks!
The man asked another of the townsfolk what the joke was that was so hilarious, and the man replied, "It wasn't the joke, it was the way you told it!"
|One day, three sweet little old ladies were sitting together on a park bench when they were approached by a flasher. |
The first little old lady had a stroke!
The second little old lady also had a stroke!
The third one couldn't reach.
|The man asked another of the townsfolk what the joke was that was so hilarious, and the man replied, "It wasn't the joke, it was the way you told it!"|
Crazy joke :p
| 1236 |
had a good laugh in such a long time xD