| Author | lords of war story by me 11year old. comments and suggestion |
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| +++++ give up its that time of the year |
oh...so u are challenging the flooders..???
to give up..??
nah..
u wont succeed kid...;) |
btw
ur story is very interesting and eye-catching
keep up the work...:) |
| LOL |
| + i dont resign |
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| . |
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| great story by 11 year old = protege |
true,....
+ |
thnx and +
next story coming soon..... |
+
title decided-
the land of lords.
this is part-1
the rise of the empire
part-2
Arctics demise |
| bump |
Personally I hate writing, but your story looks quite promising. :)
A few tips for you though. First, word choice is very important, if you could replace some common, boring words with some interesting words, it would make your story that much more interesting.
Second, you need/should really work on your grammer a little bit to make the story flow better.
I beleive someone already suggested spacing your story out. Break it up into paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes.
Your parents might know someone who is good at writing/majored in english who could help you perfect your grammer and word choice. This would be a very good idea to have someone check over the story a few times before posting for other people to read. Successful writers follow this process for a very good reason. :)
these are just harmless suggestions, so please do not take offense to any of them. It is a good quality in writers to be able to take constructive criticism so that they can improve their writing without lashing out at the people trying to help. (reffering to wiz_king's suggestions) Other then that, enjoyed the story and can't wait until sequel comes out. I hope you read this and take these suggestions into consideration for your next story. Good luck and hope you become a successful writer in the future!! :) |
yaah my mom is sought of an english teaher
thnx for what you told me will help |
| + bumpy bump |
this timekeeper guy says my story is crap.
IS IT SO GENTLEMAN
he is insulting me so much |
| i like it cool story brah :D you doing good keep practising and you will become writer so soon and about this nab timekeeper ignore him he's just jealous cos he not as cool as you ;) haters gonna hate |
thnx.
Ok i dont care about timekeeper.
LET HIM HATE IT AS LONG AS MOST ARE LIKING IT |
