Why Santa Clause can't exist.
First of all, no known species of reindeer can fly. There are still about 300.000 species of living beings that still need to be classified, and while most of them are insects and germs, this doesn't exclude the possibility of flying deer existing, which only Santa has seen.
Second, there are more or less 2 billion kids (Under the age of 18 ). Take notice though, that Santa doesn't deal with muslim, hundu, buddhist, jewist kids, for example, so this reduces his work to only a mere 15% of the total, about 378 million. With a statistical average of 3.5 children per family in the world (some countries with more, some with less), one has a total of 98.1 million different locations. Santa has 31 working hours, thanks to the time zones and the Earth's rotation, assuming he flies westward. From this, one can assume he visits around 822.6 houses per seconds. This means that for every christian family with at least a good kid (not the naughty ones), Santa has about a thousandth of a second to:
a) Find a parking spot (Easy, the roof, and you don't get tickets there)
b) Jump off the Sleigh
c) Hop down the chimney (Or otherwise break in the house)
d) Fill the stockings
e) Distribute the rest of the presents under the christmas tree
f) Eat the cookies and milk the kids give him
g) Climb up the chimney (Try doing that with such a belly!)
h) Jump back on the sleigh
i) Depart and repeat the procedure once the next destination has arrived.
Assuming that the houses are distributed equally around the globe (Which isn't true, but for the sake of simplicity, we'll make it easier for Santa and our heads) We're talking about 1.248 Kilometres per stop, for a total voyage of 120 million kilometres. This means Santa's sleigh is a wondrous badass machine voyaging at 1040 Kilometres per SECOND, 3000 times the speed of sound. To compare, the Ulysses space probe (fastest thing humanity's made) voyages at about 43.84 Km/sec, and a normal reindeer at about 30Km/h when it's running at full speed. The payload is also important for the calculation. Assuming that every kid might recieve a box of legos (Let's say, about 1 Kilo) the sleigh would carry 378,000 metric tons, EXCLUDING Santa, who's overweight. On the earth, a reindeer can exercise enough force to pull about 150 Kilograms. Even assuming that a "Flying reindeer" could carry ten times as much, it's not possible to move the sleigh with eight or nine of them, but about 214.000 of the animals. This raises the weight of the sleigh by 575,620 metric tons. (In comparison, it's 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth II ship.) Surely, 575.20 tons flying at the speed of 1040 Kilometres per second generate an enormous friction. This friction would heat up the reindeers about the same way a space shuttle would be heated up when re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The first reindeers at the very front of the sleigh would have to absorb 14.3 quintillion (10^30) Joules per second. Shortly afterwards tehy would instantly vaporize, exposing the second pair, and so on, causing repeated sonic bangs (like when a plane reaches the speed of sound, it emits the sound I'm talking about now). The entire team, including santa and the presents, would be vapourized in about 4.26 thousanths of a second.
CONCLUSION: Their was, but he's dead.
P.S I cheated Santa by getting my gifts early.
P.S.S Santa is fat because Coke Cola made Santa like that around 100 years ago.
(c) BANGdead P.S. I can't post in other topics, HAVE MERCY! |
