| Author | Open Notice |
|---|
Dear Elves,
This is to inform you that we intend to clear the forests in Silent Hill completely in order to establish a unicorn rearing farm. Now, I know elves (being elves) are nature-loving folks. But, the market demand for unicorn meat and horns is just too great to ignore. If this is of any consolation, we are willing to share 0.5% of the profits earned from our business venture with you, in exchange for your understanding. If you have any queries about this matter, please contact our customer relations hotline at 1-666-HELL.
Thank you.
Yours truly,
Senior Manager
Mighty Unicorns Enterprise Pte. Ltd.
"Top Grade Unicorn Products Delivered Anywhere, Anytime"
[We are recruiting!]
Goblin Lumberjacks - paying 5 gold a day, with medical benefits (no slavedrivers, we promise!) |
Goblin Lumberjacks - paying 5 gold a day
the goblins must be illegal immigrants |
| Well, we already have the Sulpur dune as an environment-friendly eco-park, who needs a forest anyway? Chop 'em down! |
[We are recruiting!]
Goblin Lumberjacks - paying 5 gold a day, with medical benefits (no slavedrivers, we promise!)
Meh I've had worse jobs, sign me up |
| Where's the investors' relation link? This looks like a great company to invest in. :) |
| could you please tell me what you are talking about? |
Senior Manager Kiz,
Have you considered the possibility of a unicorn petting zoo alongside your rearing farm?
Your profits are estimated to dramatically increase by 11.9745%. Although, in choosing to establish a unicorn petting zoo, you will come into direct conflict with the "Pick your own Dragon Park" which is established in Ridge of Hope.
I look forward to seeing your venture grow,
With regards,
Dizbe
Senior Vice Trolley-manager
Empire's Artifact Shop™ |
Dear Ghost_Face,
I assure you, illegal or not, that our staff are highly valued by the top management.
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Dear arcanyx,
Thank you for your support. As a token of appreciation, we will be sending one of our early batches of deep-fried unicorn nuggets to you for sampling purposes.
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Dear mageof10,
Thank you for your interest. Please note that you will have to buy your own axe for the tree-chopping. We spent almost all our budget trying to clear out those pesky thieves who were harrassing our workers.
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Dear Pantheon,
Unfortunately, we are a private holding company wholly owned by some demonic bigshots, who may or may not be responsible for the recent demonic invasion.
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Dear DragonEater,
Do you wish to sell your unicorns to us in order to kickstart our unicorn breeding process? Your co-operation is highly valued.
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Dear Dizbe,
Thank you for your suggestion. The unicorn petting zoo is an interesting idea indeed. A proposal will be submitted to my boss for review. The dragon park would be a nuisance, but we may be able to think of something to even up the competition.
Yours truly,
Senior Manager
Mighty Unicorns Enterprise Pte. Ltd.
"Top Grade Unicorn Products Delivered Anywhere, Anytime" |
| for Kiz: add me in :) |
| i want your hell horse horn, what about an exchange with my unicorn horn? well i don't want hell horse meat,very difficult to cook |
Dear Kiz,
I would like to meet your company's owners. My connections have already told me that your company is private and I had expected it would stay private for awhile. I believe there would be much mutual benefit with your bosses.
Best Regards,
Pantheon
Empire Interfactional Relations: Officer
Thieves' Guild: Member (title not publicized)
PS. The pesky thieves weren't cleared out. The exemption order was issued. |
O.o What are the benefits of eating unicorns?
Able to save you from the brink of death but shorten your life by half? Oh wait,
*thinking* that should be the effect of drinking unicorn's blood in Harry Potter's world. O.O |
| Drinking the unicorn's blood will let you live forever, but your life will be cursed... (Useless in lordswm) |
naviron: Calling 1-666-HELL
Kiz: Yes ?...
*naviron casts lightening on the phone wiring*
Kiz: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..... *screaming* |
Kiz
Wizard: 3
With faction resist Kiz survives.
Kiz shrugs off the lightning spell.
Kiz gates all her army over to naviron.
naviron sees all the gates appearing everywhere.
naviro: Oh no.... I'm in deep trouble. |
| Horns and fresh meats do not, spirits and souls I seek. |
for Straws:
And how much are you willing to pay? When the war between Empire Wild Life Resistance and Mighty Unicorns Enterprise Pte. Ltd. happen, there would be a lot of spirits, souls, and corpses. |
Mmmm.. can I have permission to set up a Unicorn Burger stall at the entrance to the forest?
I'm willing to cut Mighty Unicorns Enterprise Pte. Ltd. 50% of the profits.
Management,
Exotic Burgers Inc. |
Mmmm.. can I have permission to set up a Unicorn Burger stall at the entrance to the forest?
U might want to add unicorn's blood as beverage to accompany your Unicorn Burger. |
U might want to add unicorn's blood as beverage to accompany your Unicorn Burger.
yummmmmmmmm... |
