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   Forums-->Gratitudes and congratulations-->

Mellor becomes a daddy


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AuthorMellor becomes a daddy
Congrats Mel!
congos!
So this is how enrollment scripts are developed (borned).
Grats!
Thank you for helping and contributing to the survival of humanity for another generation!

I would congratulate you too but it would be disingenuous. Parenting seems to be a lot of pain and investment with no returns. I still do not understand why we congratulate the parents unless it is a way of helping cope with the impending emotional burden.

I hope the baby and you remain in good health, the baby sleeps regularly and often, does not cry too much and does well to not be as big of a financial burden.

I re-read my post and it can be perceived that I do not wish you the best. I do. But I am not convinced fatherhood is a cause for celebration. It is such a big commitment. Well, marriage too. But that is for another time.
for shubhamgoyal:

Parenting seems to be a lot of pain and investment with no returns.

There is no greater investment return in this world! You must be out of your mind, or completely oblivious!...


for Mellor:
Congratulations! There is no greater achievement (and this game doesn't even count!)
Congrats!
Busy and Happy life ahead :)
for shubhamgoyal:

Thank you very much for your post, where each word has such a passive aggressive tone..
There is no need for you to rain on someone's parade every single time. Not sure why you had to post when you seemed to understand the nature of the post yourself.
Imagine seeing your own kid as an investment? wow.
Unlike you, not everyone sees everything with a monetary benefit or as an investment and expect returns. It is ok to be selfless at times. :) Just saying. You must be such a fun person to date ^_^.


for Mellor:
Hearty congratulations to you :D
Becoming a father is one of the greatest joys in life.
I can't wait to become one myself.
Sleepless nights await but they're definitely 100% worth it =)
shubhamgoyal:

*Yawn*... You done yet? I fell asleep halfway through that. >_>


Mellor:

Congrats on your kid! Now you can watch it level up. :D
Thank you all.

Yes, i was afraid of kids before and couldn't see why everyone makes such funny faces at baby, making total idiots of themselves, why such a big fuss. Well as i said i was more afraid of them than anything else.

Well....now i'm the same and i understand. :) You just can not explain it. It's a joy yes. Sleepless nights? Yes but when she smiles at you: worth it. :)
Congratulations Mellor. Now you will have a livelier and happier family :)
Congrats to u and ur better half :)
sleeples nigjts are myth... i hvae 3 sons.. all were sleeping all nigjt.. almost... juat do not complicate and itnisbeasier for you... we did not ouah them to theirnown bed etc.. they slept withbus till agenof 2nornso..alsmo breastfeed... selfnservice at night.. wife was sleeping kids were eating...

so if they sleep.. you will not enroll thatnmuch 😂
typing on a phone at 1 am on vacation time looks like some spell checker would be usefull haha
Parenting seems to be a lot of pain and investment with no returns

i have to wonder what your parents would say to this, but equally being a parent is something you will never fully understand until you are one yourself. completely changes you view on everything, causes you to reevaluate your priorities. i hope one day you will understand this shub
i have to wonder what your parents would say to this, but equally being a parent is something you will never fully understand until you are one yourself. completely changes you view on everything, causes you to reevaluate your priorities. i hope one day you will understand this shub

I understand the emotions and I appreciate what my parents did for me. They made many sacrifices I would not. My father sacrificed his evenings for a decade to make sure I do well academically and my mother gave up on her career, choosing to take care of her children.

I also understand the desire to reproduce is what helps species thrive. In most species, if not all, at least one of the parents also has to protect the young. The bond has to be strong and perhaps this is why we love our babies so much. If there were no predators, perhaps this would have been different.

As we have evolved, we have attempted to rationalise our actions. We have become more productive. We have attempted to move away from the desires of the lizard brain and found meaning in other activities like satisfying scientific curiosity or building things or social justice as well. For our civilisation to continue, we no longer need everyone to sacrifice their time. For me, the meaning in building a company is greater than fathering a child - potentially more lives impacted and a possibly better world to leave the future generations when it is my time to go.

I hope the above communicates my perspective. To me, those who help our civilisation to continue by producing and taking care of off-spring are heroes. But if I am being honest, I see taking care of children a burden. It takes time, it takes resources. But I also appreciate that the dopamine released in the act makes up for it. After all, we get addicted to games for similar reasons.
As I reflect on what I wrote and take another look at my own perspective, I realise that the logical inference of my own reasoning is that if our genetic make-up leads us to experience pleasure in taking care of kids; a parent can look at raising kids as something to be celebrated since it gives them joy.

What does strike me as disingenuous is how others congratulate the parent. To me, am I being honest if I tell mellor I wish the best for him and I am happy he has to take on another big commitment that he cannot get out of without the negative ramifications? No, I am not being honest. I am happy that he has a baby because of what it means for humanity, not for him. And this is largely because I find raising kids burdensome.

But there is another side to this. If someone finds raising kids pleasurable, they are actually being honest when they congratulate mellor.
Congratulations Mellor! Job well done :)
Becoming a parent is a great thing. People should remember how much a single human life can influence the world, there is so much potential in a life and what it can give to the living. I know i'm looking too much at the big picture here, but it is undeniable that we as a species have only advanced this far because of our shared contributions to the world, however trivial they might seem as we put our foot forward one generation to another.

for shubhamgoyal:
Gee, You want to dedicate the rest of your life building a company instead of "fathering a child," then go ahead. To me though, it seems like you are incapable of doing either job well since you are the sort who wastes time expounding and justifying your unwarranted (and frankly boring) ideals to others in this manner. Your cynicism here is not appreciated by anyone.
To me though, it seems like you are incapable of doing either job well since you are the sort who wastes time expounding and justifying your unwarranted (and frankly boring) ideals to others in this manner.

VV, I agree with the rest of what you wrote. But this is not a logical conclusion. Yes, writing here takes time. But I do not think the time spent is significant enough to prevent being a successful parent or a successful founder.

I would not call what I wrote unwarranted. If you termed them unnecessary, I would agree. I would also not call my thoughts ideals. They aren't set in stone and I do not consider them perfect. To demonstrate this, I would point to the difference in stance between post #36 and #37. I do understand others' point of view and I also understand the possibility that I have not considered all aspects or my inferences are wrong. It is also possible that I have not even been meticulous enough to discover all the assumptions underlying my thoughts.

I agree with the first stanza you wrote. I wish you would re-read what I wrote. You might find it echoes your thoughts.
This thread is for congratulating Mellor for achieving his goal and being happy about it - whichever that may be.

If you don't have same goal, or that kind of goal doesn't make you personally happy: why post? This thread is not about you.

--

Congratulations (again) Mellor for achieving your goal and being happy about it!
If you don't have same goal, or that kind of goal doesn't make you personally happy: why post? This thread is not about you.


I agree. This thread was not started to talk about me. I would urge you to read #24 again, I wished mellor the best on becoming a father and expressed my gratitude. Fatherhood is not my goal, but it does not mean I cannot appreciate it, which is what I did.

I refer to #25, #27, #28, #34 and #37. These posts referred to my post. In some cases, there were questions like what my parents thought of my opinions, disagreements with my inferences, implying I would be horrible to date, etc.. Post #35 was a reply to #34. Post #36 was an addendum to #35. Post #38 was a reply to #37 where VV replied I could neither be a good parent nor a good founder.

Again, I agree with the sentiment of your post. Different people have different perspectives. I hope that when you read #24 again, you would agree with me that I was wishing mellor the best. I am neither married and nor do I have children. Having children seems like a lot of work and I wonder why people do this willingly. It is a different opinion but it is not invalid.

However, I am beginning to see that you all do not appreciate my perspective. I understand that. That is completely fine. But what does upset me is that some of you are implying inadequacies or blaming me for hijacking the thread without reading through my posts and attempting to understand my perspective. And that can also not be blamed completely on the reader, I have failed in conveying my views.

I can be blamed for hijacking the thread because I did reply in #35. #34 seemed to be a genuine question and I was glad to give my perspective. I would not reply to this thread any more because this is giving me anxiety.

Finally, please do consider the impact of words we write in forums. When we disagree with someone by calling them incapable of doing either job well, we are contributing to shutting voices down. Every time we attempt to not understand but rather blame people, we are moving the discussion from the realm of ideas to the realm of accusing people.

I returned to this game after many months. I was enjoying it. But this has been very unpleasant. I can understand that 1 person does not make a difference. And it is possible that I fail to see that I am being completely delusional. But please do not be irresponsible in blaming people for the ideas they have if the ideas are different. You might be contributing to cyber bullying.
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