| Author | Jokes about Vovochka :) |
|---|
Vovachka ran to his mother and screams
-Mom, Dad hanged in basemets!
Mom runs fast. Saw that nothing is going to have to shout at him, and he speaks:
-April fools! It hangs upstairs. |
| These jokes are the best in russian uncenzsored language. After translating and censorship they loose a part of laugh |
| RoFL to all jokes :) |
| c'mon guys more |
Father asks to 6 years old Vovacka:
- How is your new teacher?
- Very beautifull, sexy, blonde, but there is only one problem...
- What problem?
- 20 years difference between us |
Vovachka says to father:
- Previuos night I slept over with my grandma!!!
- WHAT? WHY?
- You are making love with my mom, so why cant I do the same to your mom? |
Teacher asks Vovachka
- How much 5+5?
- Eleven.
- Vovachka, please take out you hands of your pockets while counting. |
take out you hands of your pockets
HAha xD |
School teacher for children propose to write an essay on "Mother, I have only one." The next day Kate reads essay:
- This summer we had vacation in Spain with mother. It was so exciting. Thank you, Mom, for the rest. I only have one mother.
Mike reads:
- We vacationed with my mother in the village. We vere picking berries and mooshrooms. Thank you, Mom, for the rest. I only have one mother.
Vovacka reads:
- Yesterday I came home very hungry. I have opened the refrigerator, and I found only two bottles of beer. I opened one it and drank. After a while, my mother woke up and told me to bring two bottles of beer. I said, "Mother, I have only one." |
| really nice ones :-) velniukstis :-) |
| More vovochka please :) |
Vovochka, rapidly breathing and sweating, jumps into the classroom, being late for good 20 minutes.
- Vovochka?? Why are you late?? The lesson is going on for 20 min. already!!!
- Mrs. Maria Ivanovna, I am sorry... I fried potatoes in dressing room nearby.
- Potatoes? In dressing room?? What are you talking about??? - the teacher shouts at him.
The door opens again, and a girl with somewhat rumpled clothes enters the classroom.
- Kartoshkina!!! (family name is translated as "of potato" from Russian) And where have you been??? |
Teacher: Children, guess how old I am!
Vovochka: 24.
Teacher: Amazing! How did you know??
Vovochka: I am 12, and my Mom always calls me "half-retarded". |
Vovochka comes home after school.
Father: How was your chemistry lesson today?
Vovochka: Pretty cool, actually. I managed to mix a new explosive liquid!
Father: What about homework?
Vovochka: Er... teacher didn't have enough time to. |
Biology teacher warns pupils:
- Never kiss any domestic animals. It can result in contagious diseases! Who got any examples of such?
- I, - replies Vovochka, raising his hand. - My aunt used to kiss her parrot all the time...
- And??
- Eventually the parrot lost his mind. |
Russian language teacher:
- The woman is looking through the window. Singular or plural?
- Singular, - answers one of the pupils.
- Then what shall we say if we change it to "Three women are looking through the window"?
- A whorehouse, - answers Vovochka. |
Vovochka comes to his mother and asks: How was I born?
Mom: We found you in cabbage.
Vovochka: What about my brother?
Mom: We found him in carrots.
Vovochka: What about my little sister?
Mom: We found her in potatoes.
Vovochka: Omg, you and father did it in our whole garden?? |
| Gr8 guys.. |
| MORE!!! |
Vovochka returns home with a new bike, his mother sees him
Mom: Damned kid, who did you steal and got money to buy that bike ?
Vovochka: No, I didn't steal it, I can explain.
Mom: I'm listening brat.
Vovochka: After school, Maria pulled me from hand in the school's backyard, in the bicycles "parking".
Mom: And you found the bike there ?
Vovochka: No, Maria got on her knees and took off her shirt.
Mom: And what did you do ?
Vovochka: I was looking at her stunned, then she took off her pants.
Mom: Wow ! And what did you do ?
Vovochka: I tried to not look, but I couldn't, then she took off her underwear and said "Come Vovochka, take my most valuable thing".
Mom: WHAT ? AND WHAT DID YOU DO ?
Vovochka: I took her bicycle and came here. |
