| Author | Jokes !!! |
|---|
Lawyer- Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse ?
Pathologist- No.
Lawyer- Did you listen to the heart ?
Pathologist - No.
Lawyer- Did you check for breathing ?
Pathologist - No.
Lawyer - So, when you signed the death certificate you weren't actually sure he was dead, were you ?
Pathologist - Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere. |
A 'GIRLFRIEND' msg d his engineer boyfriend at 3.37 am:" If u r sleeping send me ur Dreams,
.
If u r crying send me ur Tears,
If u r laughing send me ur Smiles"
.
.
.
engineer replied:" I m studying FLUID MECHANICS & THERMODYNAMICS..should i send it.?"
.
.
No reply from girl..
Slept out of sheer terror...:p :O :D 😺 😸 👅 |
for Stupefy:
good one :) |
guy 1: dude u were drunk last night!!
guy 2: no i wasnt!!
guy 1: you called you parents to take u home..
guy 2: so...
guy 1: the party was at your house and your parents werent supposed to know!! |
| @684: lol |
| for Knight Walker: rofl XD |
olympic gymnast:
jumps 20 ft in air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, comes back down and land perfectly with one leg on the balance while fireworks go off in the background.
me:
falls on face while trying put socks on |
falls on face while trying put socks on
hehehe, now that is something :D |
Teacher : Stand Up ! Temme Two Pronouns ...
.
.
.
Student : Who ?? Me??... .
.
.
Teacher : Very Good .. Sit down :P ;) =D =D |
guy 1 : i totally failed health and safety course today!
guy 2; how did u manage that?
guy 1: well one of the questions was "in the event of a fire,what steps would u take?".
guy 2: and...
guy1 : "damn large ones" was apparently the wrong answer! |
| for Knight Walker: lmao XD |
Two girls were playing chess
(joke doesn't end here).
girl 1-
lets stop..it's boring
girl 2:
ok..no sense in playing ahead..only bishop is left on my side and horse on yours
The joke doesn't end here either:O
then a boy comes
Boy:
Lets play chess,girls.
both girls:
NO.!..u'll defeat us easily
Boy:
no problem..u both team up..i'll be alone
both girls:Still we'll lose..:(
Boy :okay then..i'll play with my left hand.
both girls:
ok..that's cool by us..:)
The joke still doesn't end.
Both obviously loses..the boy leaves
girl 1:
Such a shame..he defeated us with his left hand.!
girl 2 (after thinking a while ):
oh..he tricked us.!
.
.
.
.
girl 1: HOW..???@@??
girl 2:
that guy was lefty i guess.. |
for 692:
If you are a girl and want it to be funny, then replace 'girls' with 'boys' and 'boy' with 'girl' :) |
| 692 -> nice one lol |
RIP engilsh.!!..:p
1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U
Yesterday Rotating Near Girls
Hostel Pulling
Cigarette... ? "
2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick
Up The
Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"
3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm
Going
Out Of The World To America.."
4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT
OF MY
BACK.."
5. Don't..Laugh At The Back
Benches...Otherwise Teeth And All
Will Be
Fallen Down.....
6. It Was Very Hot In The
Afternoon When
The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To
Switch
The Fan On, But There Was Some
Problem.
And Then She Said " Why Is Fan
Not
Oning" (Ing Form Of On)
7. Teacher In A Furious Mood...
Write
Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur
Name!!
8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is
Revolving Around College"
9. My Manager Started Like This
"Hi, I Am
Madhu, Married With Two Kids"
10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or
Else I'll
HANG MYSELF"
11. LIBRARIAN SCOLD ," IF U WILL
TALK
AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN
OUTSIDE"
12. Chemistry HOD Comes And
Tells Us...
"My Aim Is To Study My Son And
Marry My
Daughter"
13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents
Especially
Mother And Father!
14. "Why Are You Looking At The
Monkeys
Outside When I Am In The Class?!"
15. Seeing The Principal Passing
By, The
Teacher Told The Noisy Class..
"Keep
Quiet, The Principal Has Passed
Away" |
| XD lol stupefy your jokes are cruzy :DDD i was laughing for 30 mins XDD |
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries.
The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I
didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money, nor do I want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that water!" |
| ^LoL XD |
| ROFL @697 |
"I have this big problem, doctor – everyone is calling me crazy just because I love hot dogs"
"That’s stupid, in my opinion – frankly, I adore hot dogs too, but nobody calls me crazy"
"Really? Great, doctor! Why don’t you come along with me and I’ll show you my collection!" |
