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| Author | Jokes !!! |
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A young man went to apply for a job as a toilet cleaner's trainee. He was asked to fill out a form, where he replied, "sorry I can't write". The toilet cleaner responded, "Then you're not the right man." And left the conversation at that.
On the way back, the young man went into a fruit shop, and bought some apples for 30 cents, which he then sold at a profit for 60 cents. After doing this repeatedly for many years, ending up a multi-millionaire and owning a large network of fruit stalls, a large television current affairs program asked him to fill out a form to feature on the show, which he replied, "sorry, I can't write". Where the television journalist responded with, "God, you can't read?! What would you have been if you could?!!"
The millionaire replied testily, "a bloody toilet assistant." | | Once, naapa92 asked if he could replace Arctic as admin. | | for 157: on for immediate explosion, one for stopping, other for tricking others. | i don't know much about bombs,
i was told the joke from my friend and i found it very funny. lol!
just make it a special type of bomb . :) | | How do you guys know so much about bombs ? 0.0? | for sry: Read in books.
P.S. Don't think I have used bombs, ok!!! | i thought u worked with osama
i know by seeing movies | A Dane, a German and an American are standing on top of a skyscraper.
The American is bragging about how awesome their architecture is, until it's barely believable.
"Yes, our buildings have special architecture, so that if you for some reason fall off, the aerodynamics will create an updraft that will blow you right back up again."
To which the German and the Dane both say "Impossible!".
The American quickly jumps off the building, and plummets down...only to stop a few meters below the streets, and gently float back up.
"AMAZING!" the german says and jumps down. He falls, falls, falls, and hits the streets and dies a horrible death.
The dane turns to the American and says "Superman, sometimes you are a real son of a ***" | | for great_barb: ha ha | there was a husband and a wife.
the husband was sick and dying.
his wife came to look after him.
W: "honey, today i give you this box."
H: "thank you, can i open it?"
W: "sure, go ahead."
(inside, there was 2 dolls and 95 000 dollar)
H: "what are these dolls?"
W: "oh, my mom once told me this 'when you're fighting with your husband, make a doll. don't waste your time crying.'."
H: "oh, i'm so happy that i have only made you cry twice so far!"
W: "..."
H: "and... what about this 95 000 dollar?"
W" "oh, i earn that money from selling dolls." | | for Xcalnarok: good one :) | For those who like/listen to english songs:
Katy Perry shot fireworks from her chest which made Usher scream "OMG" so loud that Rihanna became mentally retarded and then walked around saying 'What's My Name.' Well, Willow Smith became so annoyed she threatened to Whip Her Hair at Rihanna if she didn't stop. So Bruno Mars got so mad he threw a grenade at her. But then Ke$ha, defending Willow, said We R Who We R! So they started fighting and everyone backed up, but Eminem came in, saying 'I'm Not Afraid' saving the world, then Nelly woke up and said, "Phew, it was just a dream!!" (: |    
Sorry, I copied it from a site so this came....Please ignore it. | P.S.
Don't blame me if this is wrong too....I am just making it better for you all.
For those who like/listen to english songs:
Katy Perry shot fireworks from her chest which made Usher scream "OMG" so loud that Rihanna became mentally retarded and then walked around saying 'What's My Name.' Well, Willow Smith became so annoyed she threatened to Whip Her Hair at Rihanna if she didn't stop. So Bruno Mars got so mad he threw a grenade at her. But then Ke$ha, defending Willow, said We R Who We R! So they started fighting and everyone backed up, but Eminem came in, saying 'I'm Not Afraid' saving the world, then Nelly woke up and said, "Phew, it was just a dream!!" (: | | for narutoayan: its somewhat good. | A Father just got home from work, directly welcomed by his son
Son: Dad, there's someone looking for you earlier. He said he was your classmate at senior high school.
Father: Can you describe him for me?
S: Fat, Bald, and had a thick mustache
F: Impossible, in my class around that time, i never known such people. There is a fat one in the class, but there's no one bald and had mustache that time
*******************************
2 friends were walking around the zoo, when they crossed the zebra cage, one of the friend stop and stares at the zebra for a while.
A: Come one, let's get going
B: A few more minute please, i still couldn't understand something strange about this animal
A: What are you talking about? there's nothing strange about this animal.
B: Well, Is this animal had white as the base color and black stripes, or it had black as base color and white stripe?
**********************************
A teacher was teaching the students antonym.
Teacher: You lots just have to says the antonym of the words i said, capice?
Students: Yes teacher.
T: Clever
S: Stupid
T: Tall
S: Short
T: Far
S: Near
T: Victorious
S: Win
T: That's wrong!
S: This's Right!
T: STUPID!
S: CLEVER!
T: NO!
S: YES!
T: Oh god
S: Aye servant
T: Listen to this....
S: Hear to that.....
T: SHUT UP!!
S: BE NOISY!!!
T: That's not a question stupid
S: This's an answer clever
T: DAMMIT!!
S: BLESS THAT!!
T: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!!!
S: WE'RE HALF SANE!!
T: ENOUGH! ENOUGH!
S: MORE! MORE!
T: STOP IT ALREADY!
S: CONTINUE IT NOT YET!
T: Why are you all so stupid?
S: Because i'm a clever one
T: OH! You're all against me now?!?
S: OH! i'm alone succumb you later?!?
T: ILL-MANNERED KIDS!
S: WELL-BEHAVED ADULTS!
T(given up): OK, the lesson is finished
S: KO, The lesson haven't started
T: Enough, stupid!
S: More, Clever!
T: STAND!
S: SIT DOWN!
T: You're an idiot
S: We're a cunning person
T: MESSED-UP BRAIN!!
S: PROPER BARIN!!
T: YOU ALL WERE DETAINED THIS NOON!!
S: We're alone released that midnight
T: (Given up, walked out of the class)
Sorry for the messed-up translation (-_-") | | for DeeZee: the last one was the best!!! | for DeeZee: ROFL! great joke!! ^^
and i think that S: PROPER BARIN!! should be S: PROPER BRAIN!! | | for DeeZee: the last one was the best!!! | (-_-")a
Typo again............. |
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