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| Author | Jokes !!! |
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| #960 is a true story :P | A knight, a Mage and and a Barbarian go on a field trip. While they walk in the most darkest forest of LWM they encounter a creature beyond imagination very deadly known to have killed a lot of players..
All 3 hero's were scared to what this creature would do next so the Barbarian's instinct took over and he deciced to trow rocks (they had no weapons with them).
He trew a few time's and finaly hitted the creature's head. The knight and mage were both stunned, watching what would happen..
The creature got furious and started to come closer. Our three heroe's started to run faster and faster, trying to avoid an encounter with this abomination..
Ofcourse as we all know, mage's are a bit slower because of the fact that they have a huge belly.. So the Barbarian kept running while the knight turned around and offered the mage some help (weird ah?). The knight decided to trow some rocks so that the creature would be delayed giving the mage the perfect timing to get further away.
The Barbarian had reached a HUGE ravine (a big gap) but as big as barbarians are he had no problem jumping from one side to the other side where he would be save..
A few minuts after this the Knight reached the HUGE gap and jumped, the Barbarian helped him on the other side.
Now it was up to the mage, but he was afraid to jump so suddenly he said:
"I posses wisdom, I don't need to jump.. You guys had to jump"
The creature was right behind the mage.. Getting ready to kill...
"Howsow" asked the knight? "You need to jump or you'll die, it will kill you!"
"It won't said the mage, I didn't trew rocks at it".
Thus the end of the smart mage. | I had to correct this for clearer reading :P
A knight, a Mage and and a Barbarian go on a field trip. While they walk in the most darkest forest of LWM they encounter a creature beyond imagination very deadly known to have killed a lot of players..
All 3 heroes were scared to what this creature would do next so the Barbarian's instinct took over and he deciced to trow rocks (they had no weapons with them).
He threw a few times and finaly hit the creature's head. The knight and mage were both stunned, watching what would happen..
The creature got furious and started to come closer. Our three heroes started to run faster and faster, trying to avoid an encounter with this abomination..
Ofcourse as we all know, mages are a bit slower because of the fact that they have a huge belly.. So the Barbarian kept running while the knight turned around and offered the mage some help (weird ah?). The knight decided to trow some rocks so that the creature would be delayed giving the mage the perfect timing to get further away.
The Barbarian had reached a HUGE ravine (a big gap) but as big as barbarians are he had no problem jumping from one side to the other side where he would be save..
A few minuts after this the Knight reached the HUGE gap and jumped, the Barbarian helped him on the other side.
Now it was up to the mage, but he was afraid to jump so suddenly he said:
"I posses wisdom, I don't need to jump.. You guys had to jump"
The creature was right behind the mage.. Getting ready to kill...
"Howsow" asked the knight? "You need to jump or you'll die, it will kill you!"
"It won't said the mage, I didn't throw rocks at it".
Thus the end of the smart mage.
Poor wizzy :D | | A man is having a big lack of money and is nervously moving back and forth thinking and thinking what he should do. Suddenly he gets so mad to shout loud "WHAT SHOULD I DO ? DAMN !!" and surprisingly he hears a weird voice saying calmly "Play blackjack ...". The omen is given and he runs out to the nearest casino with all the little money he had on him. He enters the casino and runs to the blackjack table to finally get his turn and start playing. He bets all his money, takes a serious look on his face and pulls a card. The card is 10, the voice tell hims calmly "Pull ...", he pulls again and gets a five, with a sum of 15 he is starting to get nervous that he may pull something higher than 21 and lose, but tries to stay calm. The voice says again "Pull ...", so he does and gets a 3, total sum 18. Not a bad result, he thinks it's time to stop pulling but the voice insists "Pull ...", so he pulls another card, a 2. Summing to 20 the gambler is very happy and is ready to announce his final score, but the voice says again "Pull ...", this time the gambler hesitates "BUT !! ...", "I SAID PULL" says the voice and the gambler pulls a card, an ace. The gambler is now so happy he got a total of 21/21 and is ready to thank the voice, but the voice speaks first all of surprise "WOW MAN, I didn't believe you were so lucky !!". | There are only 10 types of people in this world :
- Those who can read binary
- And those who can not ;)
Cheers to those who get it :p | for Lord harddude:
@ 620 :) | | 1 and 0 | for Gaara:
what do you mean?
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Judge: And you say that the wallet you found was yours?
Indictee: No, but the bucks in it were looking familiar...
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An angry man walks in a bar and says loud:
-All lawyers are stupid!
A strong big fiery man stands up and says:
-Take your words back!
-Why? Are you a lawyer?
-No. I am stupid!
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Two mosquitoes were riding a motorcycle. Suddenly, one says:
-Hey, stop for a second.
-Why?
-I just got a fly in my eye.
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Judge: What is your justification for taking that watch?
Thief: Well.. the watch was running... I was running... and we decided to run together. | www.lordswm.com/clan_log.php?id=8693
Date: 2014-07-27 | | lol 969 | | An elder couple is talking about their life fading away slowly. They both then start arguing for who is going to leave this world first. "I will die first my love, you need to stay alive and this and that". "NO", argues the other elder, "I will die first, honey, etc etc". They keep arguing for some minutes when the old man decides to stop this pointless conversation and goes out to the coffehouse to meet up with his friends. After a few hours he returns home and knocks the door, his wife responds "Who is it ?", and the husband answers in a serious tone "I am Death". The wife then says "Look for him in the coffehouse !". | | lol 969 | | Omg XD at #969 | | A villager woman goes to the village's priest and asks him if she could confess her sins. The priests says he can hear her out and so they start. "Father, I have done many sins lately. I have slept with my husband's brother, one night he was being very gentle with me that I couldn't resist", the priest says that if she truely repented for her sin, she shall be forgiven, but asks rhetorically "But, come on, with your husband's brother ? Like weren't there any other men in the village ?". The woman continues saying "Father, I have also slept with my groomsman, when my husband was missing on a long trip and he was there for me, I couldn't resist". The priest says "Your sins can be forgiven my child, but for the next two Sundays you'll have to come to church and pray." and he then asks rhetorically "But, hey, I mean, your groomsman ? Did all the other males from the village - you could sleep with - disappear ?". The woman continues to confess a series of sins and the priest assign a simple task for redemption to her for each sin. Finally the woman confesses her last sin "Father, I have also slept with the neighboring village's preist. He was all so young and cute I couldn't resist". The priest is trying to maintain his calm and answers "I understand my child, but for this sin you'll have to do a hard task to show your repentance. You shall go to the village's hill, stand at the edge of the cliff, open your arms far and wide and push yourself to the front". The woman is kind of worried and complains "But father, if I do that I'm definitely going to die !". The priest then answers as well in a loud angry tone "Yes you damned bitch, die, how dare you sleep with the neighboring village's priest ? I mean, doesn't your whole big village have its own priest ??!!". | haha xD
what a joke xD | | A guy walks into a pharmacy. He asks for condoms and the pharmacist gives them to the guy, but before he leaves asks the guy "Would you like a bag or ... ?". The guy answers "Nah, the girl is not that ugly". | | Two drunk friends are walking home late at night. Suddenly they spot something dark on the road and they argue whether it is a dogshit or chocolate. Then one of them says "Let's taste it and see who's right", so they both taste some of it. "Oh dude, this is dogshit, not chocolate" says the first guy and the second guy agrees "Man, we are lucky we didn't step on it !" | | Two gay men are arguing about whether you are born gay or you become gay through your life. The first man says "I was born gay, I always liked dolls, my favourite colour was always pink, I always liked wearing skirts etc etc". The second man argues "No, I was not born gay. Everything in my life was normal until one day when I was helping my uncle plant his garden. Once I bend forward to plant a flower, I felt my uncle behind me, and that day I became gay.". The first man thinks and asks "And why didn't you run to avoid your uncle ?" to what the second man answers angrily "How could I possibly run while wearing pumps in the garden ?" | So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
Player banned by moderator Lord STB until 2014-09-12 01:02:31 // FR2.4 / Please use proper spelling. | | Her mother. |
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