Forums-->Creative works-->
<<|<|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|>|>>
| Author | Jokes !!! |
|---|
a african mexican asain and american were all aboard a boat sharing a drink sacrificing what they can spare the african took a shot threw some cocoa over said we have plenty of these in our country the mexican took a shot through over some beans said we have plenty of these in our country the asain took a shot threw over grains of rice said we have plenty of these in our country the american took a shot threw all three over board and said we have plenty of these in our country
--------------------------------------------------------
You know your a redneck if you have to kick your sisters jaw to get circumcised
--------------------------------------------------------
A man goes to the doctor claiming a bad studder and back pain
the doctor says "well ok lets check to see if theres any excess weight your torso seems to be normal lets take your pants off and take a closer look" "ahh heres the problem,you got about 5 extra inches of dick here causing you hunch in return blocking your airway" "w-w-h-hat s-s-h-hould we d-do doc?" the patient ask "well we can remove it and your problems should go away" "a-a-any-ything t-to st-top the p-pain" the doctor does the surgery and comes back three weeks later "wow doc the surgery you did was amazing my back feels great and i don't studder anymore but uhh my wife hasnt been so happy and wants me to get it reversed" the doctor says "I-I c-cant d-do that" | | lol lol lol great | | A russian visits Greece for vacations. There he enters a pharmacy to get some stuff. He asks for flu syrup and the pharmacist gives him a huge bottle of syrup which had about 2 litres capacity, "Wow, that's one big bottle of syrup" he says, but the pharmacist explains it's the only one he has so the russian guy accepts it. He then asks for a tooth paste and the pharmacist gives him a big tooth paste which is half a meter long, "Wow, that's one big tooth paste" says the tourist and the pharmacist explains it's the only one they got. Finally he stands there for 10 seconds thinking and the pharmacist asks "Do you need anything else, sir ?" and the tourist answers "Well, I need some suppositories, but I'm considering to order them from Russia". | lol lol lol!!!!!!!
Player banned by moderator MrBattleControl until 2014-12-22 00:36:07 // #4.2.1 Redundant letters | With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another
Relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they
Asked again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"
"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.
"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"
"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K.????? | A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.
"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."
The farmer was dubious.
"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you. And get everyone in the county to buy a case......we will make you rich.
The salesman was delighted.
They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!
Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him. The farmer was perplexed.
"Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?" The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked,
"Doesn't that calf have a mother? | | [Post deleted by moderator ElfPride // Not appropriate for kids] | | [Post deleted by moderator ElfPride // Not appropriate for kids] | | Two british people visit Greece for vacations. They walk into the hotel and ask for a room to stay. The receptionist gives them the room No 2. During the afternoon, the britishmen are in mood for some tea, so one of them goes down to the receptionist and says "Two tea to room two" and the receptionist answers "tam tam taram tam". | Just created this one:
What did the Patriarchs use for the protection against malicious internet sites?
-Fire wall | North america, around 1700.
Cavalry settled just on the frontier with the Apache lands, and the fort keeps friendly relations with the natives.
One day, the general says to a soldier:
"get the wood piles ready for winter, and then go see the tribe shaman that lives on that mountain, up there, and ask him if winter will be warm or cold. He is said to be never wrong".
The soldier gets all the men to grab some wood, and goes to see the shaman.
"Hello, there, the general sent me to ask you, could you please tell me if next winter will be warm or cold?"
The apache looks far away to the plain and answer: "this winter will be cold".
When the soldier reports the news to the general, this answer: "ok, better pile up some more wood. But just to make sure, go back to the shaman, and ask him if it will just be cold, or very cold".
again the soldier goes to see the shaman, and this one consults the horizon and says: "winter will be very cold".
Hearing the news, the general starts to get uneasy. "grab some more wood, look if we have any old furnitures we may not need, and break them down. We don't want to be caught unprepared! And you go back to the shaman, and ask him if it will just be very cold, or very, very cold!"
Third travel, and as expected, the shaman answers for the worse: "winter will be: very, very cold".
The same situation repeats twice. The fort is now a big pile of wood, all the trees in a radius of 2 miles have been cut down, and there isn't a door, a bed or any other wooden item that hasn't been torn to pieces to keep the fires up. Lastly, the general says to the soldier: "go back to the shaman, and ask him again if it's going to be a very, very, very, very cold winter, or a glacial one!" and for god's sake, pray that he doesn't say glacial!
The soldier goes up to the shaman and ask the question. The shaman looks toward the setting sun on the plain, and after a moment answers "i'm afraid, this winnter will be really a glacial winter. Never seen so cold one coming before".
The soldier, at his wit's end, prepares to carry the terrible news. Then curiosity takes over and he calls the shaman again:
"say, maybe it's a secret, but could you explain me how you make your forecasts?"
"there is no secret, my friend, and it's very easy. I look down at the plain, and watch the size of the wooden pile at the fort". | Did you know that:
You can send a private message to any player. | for Wonderla:
ofc u cant. u cant pm anyone who has put u on black list or who has set pm filter above certain lvl !!! | sry for double post :
for minku1208: wow !! awesome jokes bro !! | | I wanna know the adult jokes ! | A guy's walking down the street, muttering to himself: "Capricorn or Scorpio ? Capricorn or Scorpio ? Capricorn or..."
He turns around and walks quickly back the way he went. He enters a building, climbs some stairs and passes a door:
- Doctor, I can't remember what you told me before : Capricorn or Scorpio ?
- Cancer, sir, Cancer... | [Post deleted by moderator Lord STB // Advertizing]
Player banned by moderator Lord STB until 2015-01-23 01:00:54 // FR 2.11 / You may not advertize other games here. + Off topic. | | [Post deleted by moderator Lord STB // Advertizing] | In the early 90s,Westham FC had a player
called Dicks.He got injured in a match and the
newspaper wrote
''WESTHAM TO... PLAY WITHOUT DICKS''.
The coach got frustrated and
told the newspaper company to
rewrite the news as
''WESTHAM TO PLAY WITH DICKS OUT.''
Can you imagine how many
women attended
the match?... | | lol!!!! |
<<|<|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|>|>>Back to topics list
|
